my cup overfloweth

Remember my Strangely Dim post?  Well, God decided to hit me upside the head…like I asked.  He decided to show up in my classroom on Monday.

I had just read an email first thing that morning before the kids got to class.  The email had upset me.  I was having a hard time being present so I did what anyone would do in that scenario, I called a class meeting.  This is a time we take to say positive things to others.  We give “compliments and appreciations”.  Students share what others did that they are thankful for and give out compliments.  It’s usually a feel-good time for all.  Little did I know…

We got all around the circle and the last student said, “I just want to pray for “Johnny.”  This “Johnny” is a student who has recently moved to our school and has had a hard time adjusting to the climate of our classroom.  You see, we love each other.  Well, my students love each other so much, sometimes I can’t get a word in edgewise.  (Ha!)  Well, “Johnny” has had a history of violence and it continued at our school.  I had been extending grace to him and I’m sure glad God had allowed me to do that because as soon as the last precious boy said he wanted to pray for him, my new student said, “Pray?  What’s pray?”

My jaw dropped that was a true God moment if I have ever had one.  We were sharing Jesus with someone who has never even heard of Him.  I felt His presence.  I knew that this was His doing.  He opened that door which I had been praying so hard for.  The rest of my students erupted with various comments.  “God loves you!”  “We pray when we put our heads down during the moment of silence.”  “We talk to God that way”  “If we wanted to count all the times God thinks about us, we would have to count all the grains of sand in the world!”  Oh, those precious children.  Thank you, thank you, thank you.  I, unfortunately could lose my job if I spoke to this child…but I didn’t need to.  God was reaching him through my class.

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Strangely Dim…

I’ve had all these plans piled up sky high
A thousand dreams on hold
And I don’t know why,
I got a front row seat
To the longest wait
And I just can’t see
Past the things I pray                                                                                                                                                                                                         Today

I heard this song by Francesca Battistelli one morning, this past week, on my way to school and I couldn’t stop it, the guilt…this is me.  I get so frustrated with life when things don’t go the way that I had planned.  I have such a hard time accepting and waiting on God’s timing, which is perfect, in case you haven’t heard.  I feel slighted, that I don’t have and I’m not where I should be according to my timetable AND society in the South.  “You’re 30 and you’re not married…why not?”  I wonder why I’m not worthy of someone to love, why I don’t deserve it.  What am I doing wrong?

Then, I dive into the Word and I see, life isn’t all about finding a “soulmate”.  What if I’m meant to go somewhere to feed the hungry, the sick, or the powerless?  Could I do that if I weren’t single?  Not really.  My sweet married friend reminds me all the time that I’m in such a “sweet spot”.  That there is so much possibility in my life and God can do pretty much anything with me.  And me?  I kinda dig that.  How cool is it that little ol’ me could go anywhere and do anything for the Lord and spreading the Gospel?!  I pray every day for our Father to lead me, to put me where he wants me.  I think I’m gonna have to be hit upside the head with it…

In the end:

But when I fix my eyes on all that You are
Then every doubt I feel
Deep in my heart
Grows strangely dim
All my worries fade
And fall to the ground
Cause when I seek Your face
And don’t look around
Any place I’m in
Grows strangely dim