identity

Yesterday, I came to the conclusion that I have always had something to find my identity in, but I think that is true of most people.

When I was a young girl in school, I was smart.

When I got into high school and college I was a cheerleader. I told everyone that.

My last semester in college I started dating this guy so I was his girlfriend for 4 1/2 years.

After we broke up, I started running. Then, I was a runner. I found myself telling people so and it was a fact most people knew about me for my adult life.

Then, the unexpected happened. I was injured training for a marathon and never really healed. I didn’t know who I was. I couldn’t hang out with those friends anymore because they were doing something that I could no longer do -> run.

I struggled in trying to find my place in this world. I suddenly didn’t know where I belonged anymore.

I had been back in church for a year or two at this point so I was slowly but surely starting to recognize the gospel. So in the past 2-3 years I have found my true identity.

And, that brings me to yesterday I was sitting in church listening to the message when I had to write my ideas down.

I don’t ever have to wonder who I am or where I belong anymore, because I know that I am His and He is mine.

identity

That is where my identity lies from now till forever, in the love of Christ. I don’t ever have to wander this world alone again. I am saved by grace through faith.

For by grace you have been saved through faith.  And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God.  {Ephesians 2:8}

What about you?  Where do you find your identity?

unanswered prayers

unanswered prayers

I thank God every day that my ex-boyfriend and I never got married.  That was 5 years ago and I can’t imagine where I’d be if we did.  I can only think lonely, depressed, and unhealthy.

So, sometimes He says, in His infinite wisdom, “No.”  We may be hurt and cry and pout but, in the end, we thank Him, because like an earthly father he is acting in our best interest, even when we think He’s being unfair.

I’m sure you’ve seen or heard the saying – God has 3 answers for our prayers: Yes, Not Yet, or I have something better for you.  It’s so true, right?

I love this illustration of how we want to hold on to something so badly we don’t see what He has for us is so. much. better.

Just-trust-Me

We only need to trust.  Are you trusting today?  What is God asking you to let go of?

what’s on the horizon

Do you enjoy every sunrise and sunset as I do?  Do you look at it and know the beauty of our Creator?  Most days it brings tears to my eyes to see the horizon, to know that His mercies are new every day.  Not some days when He feels like it.  Not only on weekends.  Not only when I am doing my best to be His child here on Earth. Every. Single. Day.

That brings me to this.  I have felt a nudging in my heart.  That nudging has brought me to the conclusion that this is something God keeps putting in front of me for a reason.  He is in this, as He is in all things.  I try to not make huge life decisions without Him.  I say “try” because sometimes I fail and my selfishness takes over.

holy yoga

So, this thing that I’m going to do, or think I’m going to do, is Holy Yoga.  I am going to be an instructor.  It is my passion to lead other women in loving themselves and their bodies exactly where they are in a Spirit-filled atmosphere.

I have no formal yoga training.  I only practice at home. I am humble in all aspects of yoga (and ministering – this is scary to me).  But, I am willing to trust and I am willing to learn.  If there is one thing I can say positive about myself it’s that I am coach-able.

Therefore, I am taking up this journey.  I am going where the Spirit leads me, even if it is into deep, unknown waters.  I am trusting.  I am trusting in His timing.  I am trusting in His provision.  I am trusting in His sovereignty.

Have you ever practiced Holy Yoga? Where do you feel the Spirit leading you this year?  What are your new scary endeavors?

Core of Christmas

If you follow me on Instagram, you have more than likely noticed my latest posts.  In December, I decided to start the #CoreOfChristmas challenge.  I absolutely love everything about Christmas, from the music to the lights on the tree to the excuses to get together with more people I love.  With so many people running around trying to “get things done” and buy gifts, I really wanted to just focus on Jesus for this season.  After all,  that’s what it’s all about, so in comes the “core” of Christmas.

I decided to combine my love for Jesus with my love of fitness.  We will be doing a different core exercise every day and meditating on a verse to keep us in the present.

coc

I have teamed up with my lifelong friend, Courtney, as well as friends I met through faith and fitness in social media, Tiffany and Bobbi.  I’m hoping you will join us!  Did I mention there are PRIZES??  Oh, yes, we will be drawing names on the 12th and 24th of December.

Here is a look at the past few days!

Day 1: elbow plank & Proverbs 31:17

plank plank2

Day 2: bicycle crunches & Psalm 139:14

bicycle

Day 3: superman & John 16:33

superman

Day 4….check us out on Instagram!  Can’t wait to see you join in on the Community we are forming.

 

released

Guess what?!  I’ve been cleared to run 1 mile!!! I am ecstatic but something inside me is saying, “Don’t get too excited yet…you have tried this before.”  And I have, but it didn’t last.  I thought I was ready but I wasn’t…at least, I wasn’t ready to run 5 miles, like the overzealous idiot I was.  Soooo, I’m running 1.  That’s what my physical therapist told me to do and that’s what I’ll do.  I’m following the rules.  Trusting the process.  I want to get better.

stronger

I know I have gone on and on about this whole process, and trust me, I’m as ready as you are for it to be over.  I just want to run.  Yes, I love my new workouts, and I will never again have running as my only activity.  I firmly believe that strength training, as well as yoga and Pilates, all have a place in my workout regimen, however, I want to run.

There’s just something about being outside under the big blue sky that gives me such a relief.  Ah!  Putting one foot in front of the other.  Seeing how far my legs will dare to take me.  Pushing it just one more minute, one more mile.  Not wanting, but at the same time, desperately wanting, for it to be over.

Running doesn’t feel good when you’re doing it.  Any of y’all who think it’s supposed to feel good, I’m sorry, you’ve been mislead.  Your legs and lungs ache, begging you to stop…but you don’t.  That‘s what feels so good.  The accomplishment when it is over.  The view from the top of the hill.  The complete exhaustion.  The cool breeze on your sweaty skin.  The view of the sunset.  The reflection.  Oh, yes, the reflection.  Reflecting on what you just did.  And, it’s not always a proud reflection.  I have no romanticisms about that.  I remember the bad runs just as well as the good ones.  Yet, still, you remember and you press on.

What is your favorite part of running?

How do you stay strong when you have to take a break?

 

time to heal

Today, I finally started physical therapy for the nagging knee injury that started way back in January.  No, not this January, last January, as in 2013.  Yep.  I’m a procrastinator.  The honest to goodness truth is I thought I could just rest it out.  Take a break from running and it would be no more, but it just so happened I was in the middle of marathon training.  I did rest it from running.  I did the whole aqua jogging thing.  I rode the bike for hours at the gym.  You know what I didn’t do?  Strength train.  That’s the one thing I held back from my body while tearing it down to run 26.2.

healing

Back to physical therapy, from my MRI scan last month I learned that I had a medial hamstring strain and a posterior capsular sprain.  So, basically, I’ve had a pulled hamstring for over a year.  It has never healed because I haven’t properly taken care of it or had it treated.

I was so happy leaving that place because the doctor was so nice and she understood what I told her when I explained, “the back of my knee feels like a rubber band pulled taunt that gets plucked when I run.”  I have no other way to explain the feeling but that’s what it was.  She asked me a few questions about it and I was confident that she just knew.

I can’t express the relief that I am feeling right now.  I am not getting my hopes up yet.  It was only my first session and I’m not running yet, but it’s coming!  I cannot wait.  Spring is here.  I’m ready to run.

And, there’s this…maybe I need more time at the ocean 😉

salt water heals

keep my eyes above the waves

Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand
Will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You’ve never failed and You won’t start now

Grace.  fear.  failure.  These words so often go hand in hand for me.  I know that what I can do is nothing.  What Grace can do is everything.  If it wasn’t for Grace, who knows where I’d be now or what I’d be doing.  But, God, He takes care of me but yet sometimes I still doubt, I still fear, I still wonder.

Crazy things happen every day.  Nothing ever completely out of hand happens to me.  Sometimes I fear that I’m living a life of too much comfort.  That I can’t be that dependent on God because I don’t need him.  I hear the words to this song and I know that I just need to take that leap.  I’m ready to free fall with Him into this life that I would love to live but is such a “risk”.  Can I really do this?  Is it a calling or is it a selfish endeavor?  How do I know?  Well, I know because this is something that I could never ever do on my own.  This is beyond me.  Out of my hands.  Out of my control.  Spirit lead me…

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior

Take a moment and worship.  You’ll be better for it.