Who are you competing with?

Just the other day, I was listening to a podcast while getting ready and I felt overcome with anxiety.  I couldn’t quite pinpoint the source of my worry.  I was listening to totally inspirational stuff.  The woman’s voice coming from my phone was glowing with excitement at the adversity she had overcome only to lead her to the absolute top position in her company…also my company. Then, boom.  It hit me.  I felt like I was in competition with her.  This feeling has plagued me since I joined.  I was always wondering why other coaches had too many messages to answer, while I was fighting to get people just to respond back to me.  Once again, that feeling of I’m just not good enough had crept back in.  The enemy.  He hates us.  He knows full well what gets to each one of us and he feeds into it. I stopped, looked in the mirror, and thought, “I have never been good at competing with others, but I am great at competing with myself.”  I have always been an athlete, but one who fights to better herself every day.  Any time it came to racing another person to a goal, I froze and failed. I was competitive cheerleader through high school and college.  Long-distance, 2-time marathon, runner in my mid-20s.  To a short-lived Cross-fit stint between my two marathons. Oh yeah.  I can compete with myself.  That’s what I have always done.  And you know what?  I can beat myself, every single time.  I know that truth in my heart.  I learned new stunts and routines.  I beat my fastest running times.  I lifted more weight and more reps.  I. Can. Beat. Myself.  And I am the only one standing in the way of myself.

God has not give me a spirit of timidity but one of power and love and self-discipline.

I will not let the enemy keep me from my dreams, because that’s what he does my friends.  Did you know that?  If you are feeling not ready, apprehensive, nervous, that’s because something BIG is about to happen.  You just have to decide, are you ready to fight for it?

my heart is wholly yours

This week is all about love.  I love love.  It’s the absolute most amazing feeling.  It can take you so high.  There is no greater feeling than that of being in love.

I was watching The Bachelor the other night (don’t judge) and I heard a girl say that she needed a man to want her in order to feel beautiful again.  My heart goes out to her because I know exactly what that feels like.  It is so hard to love yourself and see yourself as worthy when “your” man has not come along yet.  You think no one wants you, and why would they?   You think you are not deserving.  Not pretty enough, not young enough, not skinny enough, not tall enough, not cool enough. .

But, this morning at church we sang “Wholly Yours” by David Crowder and I realized that I am wholly His.  God, He is the Great Pursuer.  No man will ever pursue you the way God does.  He will chase you down when you are running the opposite way from Him.  He will pick you up all dirty and tattered and carry you back home in his arms.  He will reclaim you as His own when you think you have messed up too badly to ever come back.

No man will ever pursue you the way God

We look to men to fill that void, to make us feel “complete”.  We feel lonely and feel that having a boyfriend or husband would change that forever but the truth is.  Men mess up.  Men are not perfect.  Men are not God.  You can’t hold them to that kind of a standard or you will never ever be satisfied.  That’s okay.  The same goes for women.  We are not perfect and do our fair share of messing up.  I’m not just picking on men here.  I promise.

All I can do is share what works for me.  I am at my happiest when I am loving God and moving my body.  This has brought me so close in my relationship with Him.  I wanted to share a little bit with you and dedicate this week leading up to Valentine’s Day to the unconditional, steadfast love of our amazing God.  The Perfect Lover.

Join me and two of my favorite ladies, Joy and Kristen, in celebrating this love as we host the #HeartWhollyYours challenge on Instagram.  Each day we will be meditating on a verse while getting our hearts pumping with a cardio move and ending with a heart opening yoga pose.

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this little light of mine

I’m sure many of you have been touched by the story of Taylor Scout Smith, especially if you live in my area. I know I have.  This girl, in death, has become the most amazing witness of God’s love, reaching people that she may have never met.  The letter that she wrote to herself to be opened in 2023 was not one of a typical 12-year-old. Little did she know that God would call her home in less than a year after writing that letter.

In the letter, she talked about college and making sure she graduated high school, but she also talked about her relationship with God (a part left out by a lot of the media).  She wanted to make sure that she had  been praying, worshipping, reading the Bible, and serving the Lord.  Why?  Well, as Taylor says…”He was mocked, beaten, and crucified for you!  A sinless man who never did you or any other person any wrong!”  Wow!  How much wisdom for such a young person.  I know that at 12, I was nowhere near this in tune with what Jesus really did for us.

Another thing, I have been deeply affected by is how accepting of God’s will her parents have been.  Her father said, in an interview with WJHL, “If it’s God’s time, it’s God’s time, and he loved her more than we could ever love her. So much so that he said ‘come on.'” Smith said. “A lot of people are probably wondering why it’s so easy for a father whose just lost his daughter to say something like that, to not curse God, to not hate God, the only thing I can say is that right now it’s easy for me to trust God because my baby girl trusted him.”

“He loved her more than we could ever love her.”  (So often we forget this.)
 

Although, I’d met Taylor, briefly, while teaching for a semester at a school she attended a few years ago, I didn’t know her, but just from reading and hearing the words she wrote I’m amazed.  Amazed to know this story.  Amazed to know His story.  Amazed to see such truth poured out from this beautiful, young girl.

I’m so encouraged to live God’s will for my life, as I hope you are too.  A few days ago I was driving down the road, with Hosanna playing on the radio, when I received a text.  When I stopped at a red light I looked at my phone to read the message.  The message was about something I had intently been praying on.  I just heard God say, “Here you go.”  Then, there in my car, I sobbed grateful tears.  I just knew that I was in the right place for me.  This is where God wants me.  I know it’s going to be tough at times, but as Taylor said, He did so much for me.  Why could I not go through a little suffering so that His Light may shine brighter?  Isn’t that why we’re here?

Here is a link to Taylor’s full story, get out the tissues if you watch the video: http://www.wjhl.com/story/24389289/johnson-city-girls-life-remembered

Tell me, how has her story affected you?

Has there been someone in your life who has encouraged you?

Have you every had a moment of clarity like this?